Drawing class!!!

In the drawing class ma'am asked her students to draw a picture where a cow was eating grass. The entire class started to draw picture. After fifteen minutes she collected all the art papers but she got strange by see a blank art paper. She asked the student hey, why did you keep the art paper fully blank? Didn't I tell you to draw a picture?

 Student: yes ma'am, I did! I drew a cow eating grass..

Ma'am: then why your paper is totally blank??

Student: actually ma'am my cow ate all the grasses!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha hah ah ah ahaha

By hearing that ma'am fell from the sky!!!

Ma'am asked again well, then where is your cow??

Student: it has just moved to another field to eat more grasses….

hahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahaha

Why didn't you give PILLOW to the dog?

A small family. Only husband and wife. No sadness in their family. But husband had a problem. He always finds out the faults of his wife. And everytime used to scold her. For this reason their were unhappiness between them. Wife always try to make every work as too perfect. One day husband came from office and found everything perfect. No faults today. But it was his nature to find out her faults. And walked all the home but didn't find any fault. At last he went out of home to buy some foods. When he entered the home he saw a dog laying in front of their home. He went to his wife and started to scold her saying that, 'you bloody lazy unkind woman! Why didn't give a PILLOW to the dog? Its sleeping there without pillow! ! !
Hahaha. . Hahaha. .

Software Engineer and his Wife

Husband - Hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae God! forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you and your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters...

Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - It's now safe to turn off your computer.

COINCIDENCE

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

H to O!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?

Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?

Pupil: The moon.

Teacher: Why?

Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it

I'm a lawyer

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Looking 4 the expiry date.

Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

"What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

Three patients

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump. The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms. Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs. The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor. To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

Mad guy!

Wife asked to husband, 'what will you do if I die?'
Husband replied I'll become fully mad! Wife became happy to hear that. Later she asked again, will you marry for the second time?
Husband- how can i say darling? No one can predict about a mad guy! Ha ha ha ha. .

Give a name to your COW and get more MILK

Do you get proper response from a human when you call him by his name? May be no! Same case also happens with cow too. Human becomes happy if you call him or her by a beautiful name, right? Similarly, a cow mostly response if you call it by particular name. They become happy, keep healthy- and increase the production of milk. Recently in a research by british scientists has proved this theory that two kinds of cow that has name and has no name. Few days ago the news of this research published in a magazine. There were 516 owners of dairy farm with british scientists in that research. They saw the cow that have name produce 3.4 percent more milk than the cow don't have name!

This morning started lately. And I took the newspaper at first. Its my habit that I start reading newspaper from the back side. I got this news at the up right coroner of last page. I read it in one breathe. Isn't it a interesting name? What you thinking now? Are you going to name your cow from now? You can give them beautiful names similar with beautiful heroins:) Hahaha. Heroins produce(earn) more money and your cow will produce more milk! So try it now. .

Oh SHIT!

There was a great hypnotist in America. He could easily hypnotize people and also knew magics! One day in a big auditorium he was showing his magic by his hypnotize power..

There were thousands of people in that auditorium. They all were ready to see the great hypnotist's magic. Fully attentive, no sound, no noise at all.

Finally he came on the stage. After some speech he begun to show his magic. He raised a pendulum watch from his pocket. And started to move in the air like pendulum. All the crew watched at the pendulum watch directly. Moving, moving. . They were getting hypnotized slowly slowly by the hypnotist! In sometime they were completely hypnotized!

When someone is hypnotized by a hypnotist then he is fully under control of the hypnotist. He will do everything according to the hypnotist's command. Even they can sacrifice his live!

All the people of the auditorium were fully hypnotized and ready to obey his commands. The watch was moving and moving. . .
Suddenly the watch fell on the floor from his hand and broke into several pieces! It was his favourite watch. By this watch he showed hundreds of magics. By seeing the broken pieces he got to much sad and cried out making a big sound, 'OH SHIT'

It took two weeks to clean the auditorium. .

Hahahaha. . .
Hohohoho. . .
Hihihihihi. . .

Ladies First!

English teacher was teaching in class six. She is very smart and modern minded teacher. She always discuss about the women rights with the students. She wants to put the idea in the deep mind of her students. One day she told about the priority of ladies. She taught her students that always ladies first!

Few days later. . .

It was English grammer class and she was discussing about translation. She made a translation like this, 'The Bull and The Cow were eating grass together'. But students were saying, 'The Cow and The Bull were eating grass together'. She thought may be they're mistaken so she repeated again, 'The Bull and The Cow were eating grass together'. The student again told, 'The Cow and The Bull were eating. .

This time she got too much angry and aske harshly, hey students whats happen to you? Why are you making mistakes every time? Aren't you attentive?
All the students replied together, "we are very attentive ma'am!"
If you're attentive then why are you making same mistake everytime? Why are you saying, 'the cow and the bull where i said the bull and the cow?'
Then one of the students replied her cause you told always LADIES FIRST! And the cow is female genre so we gave her the priority!!!

Hello! Father-in-law!

Husband and wife! Happy family! But wife was something different. Like a maniac. She always likes to insult her husband among people or alone. Husband was very polite and simple. He didn't replied her insult. So she got more chances. Everything has a limit. Nothing is good without limit. He became fade up for his wife. He also started to seek how to reply her insult. Once in a year he got the chance. . One day they were going to a party by car. On the way their car became disordered. The car stopped by a grass field. They were thinking what to do! In the mean time a donkey peeped in the window of car! Wife became happy and told, look darling, you'r relative is greeting you! Say hi to it. Husband got angry and uneasy! Then he asked the donkey loudly, 'HELLO FATHER-IN-LAW! How are you??

Hehehe. . Hahaha. .

A thief catching machine!

Now a days its too many thieves everywhere! All are fade up for the burglary of those thieves! So the greatest scientist of the world decided to invent a machine which can catch thieves easily. They researched for a long time and they were succeed. At last they invented a great machine which can catch thieves.

When this news came on newspapers and on TV the whole world became strange and happy. They thought now we can get rid of those thieves! The machine was very high demanded. They could not supply regularly. Their stock was finished within only one week. The scientists were rewarded. And they became the national scientists. Everything was going very well.

The news of thief catching machine spread all over the world. As we know here is too much thieves in asian countries. Hahaha. . So the government of these countries decided to buy that machine though it was costly. Three countries of asia bought that machine. We can imagine those countries as A, B and C.

In country A the machine caught a dozen of thieves within one week. . News came on national newspaper.

In country B the machine caught two dozen of thieves with three days.

But can you guess what happened in country C?

News on world newspaper-
In country C the machine was stolen by the thieves within 24 hours only!

Hahaha. . .


I think those thieves should rewarded now! They should announced as national thieves! Hahaha

Sweet revenge!

A man was very rude to his wife. He used to beat her without any relevant reason! So the wife was very sad and she always thought how to take revenge from him! One day when he beat her she started crying and went into the bathroom! Few minutes later she got out from the bathroom and started to laugh, loudly! The man became very strange! Another day he asked her, hey darling why did you laugh that day when came out from bathroom? She again started laughing! Ha ha ha ho ho ho hi hi. . .
He asked her again whats the matter? Why she was laughing? Then she replied nothing just laughed! He compelled her to say the truth. He asked, what did you do in the bathroom? She told, i was washing the bathroom! Washing bathroom?-the man asked. You washed bathroom and your mind became fresh? She replied no! Then? She replied again actually, actually i washed the bathroom with your TOOTHBRUSH!!! Hahaha. . .: